Shoveling Sucks!

My friend Jay and I were talking about Shoveling the other day.  He came across a list somewhere on the web of the top 5 reasons shoveling sucks.  I personalized that list. Drumroll Please!!!

5. I have kids and dogs

Way more fun to chase them around and throw snowballs at ‘em. Of course, this is a huge distraction and makes the whole shoveling process a lot longer.

4. The chatty neighbor

People drive by and slow down to say "Hi" or somebody is walking his dog and decides they want to chat for awhile in the freezing cold!  This always happens to me.  It is freezing out and all I want to do is get my driveway and sidewalk shoveled and then get inside and drink some Irish coffee!

3. Your body has no idea whether to be hot or cold

Put the jacket on, take the jacket off, on, off, on, off. I hate it.  I get out there and I am freezing.  After about 15 minutes of shoveling, I am sweating like it is 90 degrees out.  I take off the outer layer and about 10 minutes later, I am freezing again.

2. Watching people with snow blowers

I may just have to break down and buy one of these things.  It takes me on average about an hour to shovel my driveway and sidewalk if there is about 4 inches of snow.  I have to shovel the walk to the front too and to the side.  What a pain.  I borrowed my neighbors snowblower once when I had broken my arm one winter and it took me about 25 minutes to snowblow everything!  Problem is, they are like $700 or $800 for a decent one and there are winter when I may never use it (Like last winter!)  It really is hit or miss.

But it is kind of depressing when you have been out shoveling for 15 minutes and your neighbor comes out with his snowblower.  He finishes in about 20 minutes and I still have about 30 minutes more shoveling to do!  

1. When the shovel hits you in the dick

You are probably laughing after reading that one, but it happens!  It has happened to me more times than I care to remember.  It usually happens after you have been out shoveling for awhile.  Your body is getting tired, your back hurts so you think you can use your body to help push the shovel.  And it works!  You start speeding up and you get a warm fuzzy feeling inside because you are such a genius to think of this brilliant plan.  Then...CLANK!  Your shovel hits a seam in the driveway or sidewalk and the other side is just a tad bit higher.  Your shovel slams to a halt but your body keeps going.  The handle is right at groin height!  Before you can do anything, you have impaled your gonads on the handle of the shovel!